We’re finished with all of our midterms! We took our second Greek exam last night and so I am able to take a few minutes this afternoon to give you a snapshot into how I’m doing and what our experiences here at Gordon-Conwell have been like thus far. I’ve struggled with not only finding time to write a blog post but also with what exactly to say. I’d love to sit down with each of you over coffee and share all of the things that the Lord has shown me thus far, because it is difficult to understand and experience such transformation merely through words on a page.
But, here is my best shot.
There are many difficult things about being here. I’m struggling with the occupational, relational, and geographical changes in our lives that all happened simultaneously! I struggle with balancing my roles as wife, daughter, employee, student, and friend, to name just a few, and I still haven’t quite figured out how to serve in all of my roles well. I get so caught up with class work that sometimes I don’t make time to spend time with the Lord. I long for time with my DC friends and small group. I miss my students at Georgetown. I’m learning that seminary is not like an average graduate program, even though the syllabi for our classes show that seminary is indeed both rigorous and academic. I’ve found that I don’t have much margin in my schedule and I’ve learned that I need margin to grown and absorb all of the knowledge I am being given via lectures and readings. Thus, I’ve been frustrated by the pace of life here and have often wished that I could have time to sit with what I’m reading and really process it in a way that I can apply it to my heart and life.
Yet, in all of these minor hardships, there is new life sprouting in my heart.
I’m learning and growing so much. As I read the Old Testament for my Old Testament Survey class, I am beginning to find myself in each of the stories. I’m often overwhelmed with deep gratitude as I’m watching, as if it were occurring before my very eyes, the master metanarrative of redemption play out in the Old Testament. I love that I have the time to just sit and read through the Old Testament chronologically and to see the progressive revelation of Scripture. I’m often reminded through my reading that the Bible is not about me. In some senses it is my story, and your story as well, but ultimately, it is His story.
Additionally, I am learning more about the Lord’s provision than ever before. Josh mentioned in our last partner update that we have had several partners that have encountered rough financial times and have had to withdraw their support as a result. It’s really easy to say that we trust the Lord to provide, but when the math doesn’t add up, it helps us to see where we are really placing our trust.
I’ve thought often about the two quotes below and they have greatly increased my faith:
“Let us see that we keep God before our eyes; that we walk in His ways and seek to please and glorify Him in everything, great and small. Depend upon it, God’s work, done in God’s way, will never lack God’s supplies.” ― Hudson Taylor
“Be assured, if you walk with Him and look to Him, and expect help from Him, He will never fail you.”
― George Muller
I remember Josh referencing the Hudson Taylor quote above when he was trying to convince me that we should, in fact, participate in Gordon-Conwell’s Partnership Program, rather than take out additional student loans. He earnestly argued that he had never been at a point in his life when he needed God to work a miracle or provide what he needed to live, and that going to seminary would give us a chance to really walk by faith and not by sight. It has certainly done that and more. And I’m happy to share with you that the Lord is absolutely faithful.
Here’s what the Lord has provided for us in the last few weeks:
- A trip to DC to babysit, which provided the income I needed to make up from missing a week and a half of work while ill, plus more!
- A friend who felt led to buy our groceries this month
- Opportunities to make a little extra money through my job with the Admissions office
- Friends and family who felt the Lord lead them to send support funds that we didn’t expect
- Josh’s boss at work giving him one of the best sections in the restaurant, two nights in a row last weekend
There is so much more that I could say, but I just wanted to primarily give thanks to the Lord for His faithfulness and for His excellent provision. It is so clear to me that He has not only brought us here, but that He will also sustain us in an abundant manner.
Thank you all for being used greatly by Him in our lives.